o – nicolas cage

Thou art my greatest hero! Your dashing acting and your brilliant charm puts a smile upon my face every time that I see you. If not in this world, on the screen you appear to me. You once thought,  “a job selling popcorn at the Fairfax Theater…would be [your] only route to a movie career.” But alas you were wrong! Selling popcorn would not make you the star that you are. Your father’s name was Coppola and your mother’s Vogelsang, but you changed your name to Cage. O how you love the Marvel comics! Your love of Luke Cage could not be denied, Luke’s great powers made it easy to decide.

O Nick, as the young kids call you now. They say your movies are far to predictable, but you still make me proud. Who cares if you’re always the same, one can only be true  to one’s self. Here you are again, o god of the screen. On the eve of Saturday, you made an appearance. But it wasn’t really you, it was a man named Samberg. But true to your mind, he copied you well. Accurately true, this mimic I did find.


O Nicolas you must be ill, for your voice changes a fair amount. It started out raspy, but perhaps you got antsy. When you got excited your voice sure did heal! I wouldn’t advise, to anyone short on time, to admire your speech in it’s entirety. But perhaps you will engage, with the wonderful man whose last name is Cage.

“And I realized that’s the only superpower that matters, courage”




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